Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Crash and Burn and Almost 40
One day you are going along, thinking you are living a "normal", "healthy" life and then you have a wake-up call. Eight days before my 40th birthday I had mine.
My husband and I went out for a bike ride after I had gotten home from work. I was exhausted but decided to go...excercise, afterall, gives you more energy, right? When my front tire hit his back tire I knew I was done for and there was nothing I could do about it. Ambulance ride, x-rays, cat scan, pain medication and thankfully, no broken neck. I had worn my trusty helmet and that protected my brain from even a mild concussion. I was extremely fortunate that, other than bruises and some scrapes and some major pain the next two days, I had not done anything serious or permanent.
All this because my body was tired, my mind was fried and spiritually I was aching. I am exhausted, I am at the end of my rope and it is because I live with too much STRESS. I am sad, lonely, tired, depressed and have not taken care of myself for a long, long time. I have held in alot of grief and anger, bitterness and hostility....I must learn to let that go because it's acid to my soul..
But the whole point is, I did turn forty on August 7th. Many people don't make it even this far-Princess Diana didn't, Marily Monore didn't either. It's not too late to change things and I have started to do that. No more coffee for lunch/dinner, no more filling up on sugar/starch and I am starting to learn that I need to rest and truly relax. My jacuzzi tub is my new best friend. Baby steps....baby steps....baby steps.
I have begun the process of making an art journal to express how I'm feeling both physically and emotionally. I read the most awesome book called Art Journals & Creative Healing ........it has helped me discover that other people have the same struggles and pain that I do. It's worth checking out......the artists in this book are very candid about their struggles and this helped me alot!!!!
I have also started to change my thinking thanks to Louise Hay and her book "You can heal your life". Postive affirmations are a way of taking the negative out of your thoughts and out of your phsyche altogether...so I'm trying.
So as rough as it gets, I still got to celebrate a milestone with my wonderful husband Joseph and my best friend in the whole world, Jean!!! What more could I possibly want or need??